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Category: Personal Growth

What Do You See?

April 8, 2012

I often wonder what my students see when they look at me. By default there is some anxiety and trepidation. After all, I am their clinical instructor, and they’ve heard that I’m tough. I’m tough but fair. I try to put them at ease during those first couple of weeks because clinicals are stressful enough without the added worry that your instructor is a drill Sergeant.

Once they get to know me they realize I’m not a student nurse destroyer. We work together to help them learn things they never thought they could. They will survive and come out on the other side with more confidence, lots of skills, and the unexpected and weird ability to think critically at six in the morning.

So what do you see, my fledgling little nursing students?  I hope you see a little of yourself in me. That scared little newbie I once was is still in there, and she understands. She really does.

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Just Choose

June 15, 2013

I am one week away from a major life change. I am leaving my teaching job in California, packing up some stuff, giving even more stuff away, and heading to Austin, Texas.

When I say this out loud, people look at my quizzically. They aren’t sure they heard me right. Texas? Why on earth would you want to go to Texas when you already live in California? Of course, the thinking goes, EVERYONE wants to live in California. If you don’t want to stay here, you are missing the point.

My answer doesn’t make them feel any better.

When asked why I’m moving to Austin, my answer is: why not? I’m not married and don’t have children. I don’t have any other family living in the area either. Sure, I’m giving up what many would consider a “good” job, but I am a nurse. I have faith I can find a job no matter where I go.

Besides, why do I feel compelled to justify every decision I make? Why isn’t it okay to choose something and go after it? Why is everything a debate?

I need to make it alright to just choose and then just go. I spend so much time agonizing over the alleged “right” or “wrong” decision that I suck all the joy out of a new and exciting adventure.

While I might not know how my move is going to end up or even if I’ll be happy in Austin (I really hope I will be), I do know this: It’s okay to jump. Check the depth of that pond before you swan dive through the air and make sure there aren’t any rocks directly in your path. Beyond that, you just have to let go and make the leap.

The leap makes you free.

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